Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
