I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
