Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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