You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
