I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
