U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize