This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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