i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
