I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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