He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We left the knife in your bed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
