oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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