My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
