He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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