i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize