so explain again why im purple
no
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He has the fingertips of a God
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
