hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
