She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
