Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
