Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
