dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
