there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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