She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
