actually, I'm a sock model
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
