I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
