I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
