So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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