you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize