in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
