I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
