Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
