I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
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