Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
