Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
