these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Acid is not a monday night drug
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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