This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
