Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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