But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I want to have your abortion
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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