i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
