my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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