Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize