youre lurking in front of me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize