i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
