her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
