for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
