i wish my penis had a tongue
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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