oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
