East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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