Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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