so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
