Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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