So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
