the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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