Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
