Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
