felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
