FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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