It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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