One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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