I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
