sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
