Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
