Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
