youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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