Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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