the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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