Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
